Five Simple Steps for Rapture Preparation

There's been a lot of talk about the the Rapture of the Church taking place tomorrow, May 21.  I figured that I should probably blog about my thoughts on the upcoming events, so I sat down to give it some thought.  Many things ran through my mind, and then it hit me.  No one has given any practical advice on preparation for the Rapture.  How are we to know if we are "Rapture Ready"?

Well, here's a list of Five practicals steps for you to follow to make sure you are adequately prepared.   Whether you are one of the lucky ones to be gathered to the Lord, or one of the poor souls left to endure the inevitable Tribulation, let's make sure that everything runs smoothly and without unnecessary inconvenience.

1.  Do Not Drive:  Let's face it.  If you on the roads when the Rapture occurs, and you're not one of the fortunate ones to be taken, you probably don't want to be on the road when 100s of cars go driverless.  And if you are planning on being Raptured, have a little common courtesy and just stay home where it's safe.


2.  Call in Sick:  If you are a pilot, cab driver, train conductor, surgeon, air traffic controller, or any occupation that involves the safety of others, please call in sick or take a vacation day.

3.  Think Green:  If there is a high probability that you will be raptured, please turn off your water, electricity, cancel cable, phones, etc.  Those left behind are going to dealing with enough.  Why burden them further with open accounts, wasted utilities?  Please note: If you leave your cars in the garage, make sure the emergency handle has been pulled on your garage door.

4.  Drink Responsibly:  As with hurricane parties and New Years Eve, many folks are going to be tempted to partake in a few extra pints in celebration.  Trust me.  If you are one of the heathens that will be here on Sunday morning, you don't want to face it with a hangover.  And the rest of you probably don't want to be raptured while intoxicated. (RWI)

5.  Remember Your Pets:  As much as we love our pets, the truth is that they will NOT be part of the Rapture.  Think ahead.  If you are left behind, make sure that you have plenty of pet food and reserve water supply in case store and utilities are down for a while.  If you will be leaving us, make sure that your pets have a safe, quiet and caring place to stay.  They will most likely be very nervous and stressed as it is.  Let's think of their needs as well.

It is my hope that these simple steps will help you as we all hurdle toward the end times.  Whether you are left behind or taken from the Earth to be with Christ, we all need to make sure we are prepared.

As for me, more than likely, this will be my last blog.  I appreciate each and every one of you that have been faithful in reading my theological musings.  If you've been left behind, and are reading this after the fact, I'm sorry.  You must not have paid enough attention to my more evangelical blogs.  I'm pretty sarcastic, but I'm pretty sure that I never joked about damnation.

And if you reason I am unfortunately left behind with you, I'll have one hell of a freaking blog to write on Sunday.

The Singularity of God

Deuteronomy 6:4:  "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one."

John 1:1-4: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning.  Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.   In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind."

Lord, You are all that is,

  all that has been,

  and all that will be.

You encompass all and are within all.

  In a divine spiral, You sit at the centermost point of all existence.

  My life, my worries and my joys

revolve around the great sustainer that is You.

The spiral eternally spins in unison with all that is.

By Your Word it began,

  through Your Word it endures,

  and in Your Word it conitues.

Instill in me the simplicity of my union with You.

  Amen

A Prayer of St. Francis

"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred...let me sow love.
Where there is injury...pardon.
Where there is doubt...faith.
Where there is despair...hope.
Where there is darkness...light.
Where there is sadness...joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled...as to console,
to be understood...as to understand,
to be loved...as to love,
for
It is in giving...that we receive,
It is in pardoning...that we are pardoned,
It is in dying...that we are born to eternal life.   

Peace Be With You - Excerpt from Not Alone: Stories of Living with Depression

Toward the end of college, I felt as though my life was in full blown crisis.  Regular cocktails of anti-depressants, downers and alcohol only numbed the pain that was hiding just below the surface.  The temporary alleviation of suffering created a false reality that only isolated me further.  “Nothing seems real to me anymore” I remember telling my psychologist at the time.  He immediately said with certainty, “Then Jake, you need to be in a place where things can feel real again.”  What was he saying?  Did I need to be in a hospital?  Institutionalized?  Was I that bad off?  I don’t remember much of those days, but I remember that moment very well. It was a sobering realization that my life had spiraled out of control.  One question remained: Where was God in the midst of this downward journey into an unknown abyss?  

Even attending church, spending time in prayer or reading scripture became an uncomfortable experience.  I suppose that even my image of God was distorted, but ironically my faith was growing deeper.  My convictions to know Him more fully and serve Him were growing as well.  But like a car stuck in the mud, the more I spun the wheels of effort and faith, the deeper I seemed to sink.  My prayers became mundane, spiritless and forced.  I would frequently find it hard to focus on God and my anger and frustration soon became directed more toward Him.   I began to envision God mockingly holding the key to my healing.  Dangling it just beyond my reach, He would smile as I reached out.