I Disagree = I Hate You

Over the last few months, I have become more and more frustrated with division in the Church. It seems that even within the most accepting Christian communities, disunity finds it's way in, stakes a claim and develops a stronghold. The roots dig deep and are unyielding to movement. In the effort of creating open and accepting communities, we sometimes produce just the opposite. Conservative Christ followers open their doors of acceptance to "seekers", allowing them the honor of joining their "open" community, but only if you develop the same mindset. Come as you are, but only if you leave as we are.

Conversely, liberal Christian churches are just as guilty, creating an atmosphere of tolerance but only remaining tolerant if you agree with each and every aspect of their particular theology.  Rather than unity in the Church, we end up with a chaotic mess of anger and division that is hardly what Christ had in mind from the beginning.   

I try to remain as neutral as possible, realizing that we all have something to contribute to the mix. I love the words of a pastor that I used to work with who when asked about his political views said, "I love the idealism of the democrats and the pragmatism of the republicans and hate the hypocrisy of both." Rather than choosing sides, I try to see the inherent good in all people and celebrate that. By the same token, I despise hypocrisy and will point it out, regardless of theological beliefs or political ideology.  Being fairly outspoken and opinionated, I tend to get attacked from both sides. I suppose that makes me an equal opportunity offender.

When looking at divisions in the Church, I always go back to Paul's interaction with the Stoics and Epicureans at the Aeropagus in Athens. (See Acts 17:16-34)  I suppose you could classify Paul as the Conservative Fundamentalist, and the philosophers as the spiritual seekers, maybe Universalists.  Maybe just Rob Bell followers. Had to stick that one in there!  :)  I actually love Rob Bell.  But either way, Paul is presenting the truths of Christ to a group of people with very different beliefs; the antithesis of the truths that Paul is defending.  In essence, he's asking them to reject their pluralistic philosophy and beliefs, and embrace a very narrow view of theology.  Both parties had ample opportunity to begin throwing stones, especially the Athenians who were more threatened that Paul.  Division could have developed and the discussion shut down before it even began.

But something refreshing happens at the end of this discourse. Paul finishes saying what he has to say, making clear the truths of God and his belief in the resurrection through Christ. "When they heard about the resurrection of the dead, some of them sneered, but others said, “We want to hear you again on this subject.” At that, Paul left the Council." (Acts 17:32 & 33)  

We see three interesting things in this small verse that I think can help all of us avoid some of the divisions that inundate faith communities from time to time.

1. Face it. There will always exist people that firmly and angrily disagree with you, and from time to time, you will respond with anger to those who disagree with you. (some of them sneered)  It's going to happen. We're all messed up people. Let us do the best we can to keep our hearts open and loving toward one another.  "Love one another" leaves no room for hate. (John 13)

2. Dialogue can continue, even when we adamantly disagree. "We want to hear you again on this subject." Translation: I respect your views and beliefs. I love you and would love to talk again sometime. I'll buy the coffee! 

3. Change the subject! End it! When disagreements arise and come to a stalemate, we need to learn to leave it alone for a while.  "At that, Paul left the Council."  None of us are ever going to agree on everything and it's impossible to change someone views just by a simple conversation. That's a good thing!  We all don't have to share the same beliefs in order to celebrate community together.  Disagreements do not have to equate to anger or hatred. 

Let us learn to to rejoice in what we agree on, but also celebrate our difference as well.  The journey of life and faith would be a pretty boring if we all walked upon the same path.  

  

Random Observation

Random observation: Kids are the most curious of human being.

I'm a people watcher. Especially when plagued with writer's block, I can spend hours observing people and their interactions with one another. I also enjoy listening to conversations. Not eavesdropping, but just overhearing casual dialogue that occurs naturally in common gathering places. It's amazing at how much can be mirrored about culture by just spending a few hours in Starbucks.

Random observation: As a whole, most people have no self-awareness.  

Random observation: You can learn a lot about people by what they carve into wooden tables.

Observing others is a strange thing. Lives intersect on cultural roads and inadvertently beg for their personal significance to outweigh the other.  When you think about it, we all stand on level playing field and all evolve from the same spiritual cloth. Some of us have connected to the natural beat of life, and some of us miss it. Not by chance, but by quite natural urges. I wonder how this coincides with God's divine order of life and why such a dichotomy seems to exist. Did God ordain us to rhythmically interact on common ground, but we deviate on our own accord, distended to collide with others that deviate as well?

Random observation: Most people don't care.

Random observation: The truth has nothing to do with the reality around us.

Random observation: The man sitting next to me looks exactly like Alfred Hitchcock dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, running shorts and Topsiders.
    
As we journey through life, attuned to the path set before each of us, and intersecting as we go along, we long for connection. Connection to community to a natural longing that is embedded in each one of our spirits. Connection is a natural urge that we want to embrace, but often suppress because of certain social standards and misconceptions.  Usually, quite often in fact, we never really receive what we long for from others. Our desires often go unfulfilled.

Random observation: Whenever I see elderly ladies, I miss my grandmother.

Random observation: The further I move from "Church", the closer I feel to God.

When we push against the grain, finally producing what we want, we naturally may receive what we perceive as connection, but usually it pales in comparison to what we essentially longed for originally. Inevitably, when we fail to connect with others, we feel a disconnect with God as well. And this is one of the greatest mistakes that we make in our spiritual lives. When we attribute human characteristics to God, ignoring the divine, we actually set God up as being flawed. What we tend to forget is that within God lies only perfection. We screw up far to many relationships because of our own selfishness and failures. Let us not lump God into that category as well.          

Random observation: I sometimes hate the music that is forcefully pumped into my head at Starbucks.

Random observation: Just because we call it "community", doesn't mean it is.  

Writing about Not Writing

I'm doing my best to write this morning, but it's not happening.  The pictures are clear, but I can't seem to ascribe words to them.  I got up this morning, took a shower, got dressed and made my way to my favorite coffee shop.  I was lucky enough to not encounter someone sitting in "my" chair, so I settled in, ready to compose something worthy of the time I invested.  I wanted to walk away, thinking to myself, "I wrote something today!  And, damn!  It was good!  BEHOLD!  I AM A WRITER!"  It's not happening.  Nothing is being transmitted from my brain, through my hands and onto my laptop. So, I'm writing about that.  I'm writing about not being able to write today.

I tell myself everyday, "Jake, It just might not happen today.  Don't let it get to you.  EVERY writer struggles with writing, probably more often than not."  In fact, Donald Miller just wrote an amazing blog on this exact subject. The 5 Steps to Writing a Book. I suppose if Donald Miller struggles with writing, I shouldn't be discouraged when I do.  He's good.  I'm worse.  "Much much worse."  (Remember that episode of Seinfeld?)

Writing is not easy.  It's much more difficult than I ever imagined, and most of the time, I hate what I write. I'm my worst critic.  My wife Kelly usually edits, and critiques, what I write. She usually loves what I write. If if were not for her constant encouraging words of affirmation, I probably wouldn't write another word.

I didn't always consider myself to be a writer.  I wrote because I enjoyed expressing myself with the written word, but never classified myself as a "writer".  What makes a person cross that threshold, ushering them into this category of identification?  I'm not sure.  The transition was not immediate for me, nor did I eagerly embrace it.  At first, I seemed to be reluctant in telling people, "I'm a writer."  I remember having lunch with a good friend of mine and him asking me, "So, are you a writer now?"  I guess I am.  Humbly, I'm a writer.

I love the fact that what I have to say matters to people, even if just one person sometimes.  I hope that I always earn the right to write for those who read what I compile.  I don't think that I have any hidden insight to the world, culture or theology.  I just seem to be able to put it all together in a way that people enjoy reading.  I see pictures in my head and writing is a way of sharing the images with you.  I hope that I'm always able to do that, and do it better as I continue writing.  I appreciate the fact that you read what I have to say.  It means more to me than you might realize.  God has blessed me with the ability to communicate in written form.  That's it.  I know it.  I accept it.  I embrace it.  I'm thankful.

So, here I am.  Writing about not being able to write.  Frustrated.  Staring out the window.  Kicking myself because for someone reason I have nothing to say.  And I really don't.  I'm writing a blog about not being able to write.  But as I find myself not being able to write, I write. Does that make me a writer or what?

Ian

I'm sitting in Starbucks this morning, trying to work on several writing projects at once.  This blog is just one more avenue that I'm finding myself drifting down.  Being OCD does that to you from time to time.  Starbucks is a dangerous place for the OCD personality.  People walk in.  People walk out.  Each time the door open, or someone passes within my field of vision, I instantly look up.  I enjoy people watching, but not when it distracts me from writing.  Today is one of those days, but it was a laughing little boy that derailed my thoughts completely, and possibly for the rest of the day.

The door flies open and a little boy runs in, probably no more than 3 or 4 years old.  His mom follows close behind as he giggles uncontrollably.  I laugh to myself and watch him race across the room.  He bounces with excitement and I think how rare it is that I find myself that excited about anything in life.  "unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matthew 18:3)  Running. Skipping. Laughing.  Overwhelmed with excitement.  Are these aspects of life that we've completely lost touch with?  And if you coincide them with essentials for seeing God's Kingdom, it's just a tad sobering, isn't it?

Nostalgia is also one of my character traits.  I don't simply think about the past; I obsess over it, especially when I screw up in life.  This is the point of my blog this morning.  I screwed up last night with my 16 year old.  I hurt him deeply, just from a word that I allowed to slip out of my mouth.  I spent most of last night beating myself up over it, and continued faithfully into the morning.  And then that little boy ran across my path.  I don't know his name, but instantaneously it became Ian.  My 16 year old boy was transformed before my eyes into this little stranger. As he laughed, I saw Ian laughing.  As he ran and jumped with excitement, I saw Ian running and jumping with excitement.  As I gazed on the innocence of this child, I remember the innocence that Ian had many years ago, and for a second, I wished that I had the ability to manipulate time.

Time races by us at light speed.  Just when we think we have all the time in the world, we are faced with the sad reality that there really is not that much at our disposal.  I remember thinking that I could not wait for Ian to grow up.  Being a parent of young children is hard.  But these days, I just want the clock to stop, if only for a few moments.  I long for those days when a single word would not cut so deeply into his psyche.  It's so hard these days.

I got up to get a refill of my iced coffee and as I walked to the counter, the little boy ran up to me, with a big smile and laughing.  I love kids, so I bantered back at him with a funny face and turning my hands into my signature snapping crab claws.  He laughed even more and reached out his arms toward me.  Mom was smiling, so I assumed it was OK to return the gesture.  I extended my arms and he jumped into them, continuing to giggle.  I guess it was a little too much, considering my emotional state this morning.  I felt tears well up in my eyes and tried to conceal them.  It wasn't a stranger that I was holding.  It was 4 year old Ian.  I remember how it felt; him holding Daddy as tight as he could.  I remember that there was a day when I could do no wrong.  I was superman.  Now I'm just an old jerk that has has trouble taming his tongue and having to end this blog immediately because I'm crying like an idiot.  Sorry.

                                          

New Stuff: A Back to School Devotion for Youth

Well, it's back to school time again!  I know!  Stinks, doesn't it?  I mean, can you believe that Summer is already over?  As always, it went by fast!  A new school year can mean different things for different people. Some of us are ready to get back into the school routine and some of us are bummed out. Some of us might be feeling excited to see old friends and make new ones, and some of us might just be sad that summer is over. You might even be a little scared about going back to school because of all the “new” things that you are going to face. You will have to deal with “new” teachers, try and make “new” friends, and some of you might even be going to a “new” school. School is not always easy, is it? And when there are “new” things to experience, it can be even                                                                more challenging for all of us.

Starting a new school year is also a time when we see that many people around us seem to have “new stuff". Some people have new clothes, new phones, new ipods, new backpacks and maybe even a new car. And if we let it get to us, it can bring us down because other people have new” things that we don’t have. When we see a lot of “new stuff" it can even make us a little angry because we want those things for ourselves.  We’re only human, right? I mean, who doesn’t want “new stuff”? 

The big companies want us to feel envy for what other people have and how they look.  They spend tons of money on commercials and adverting in hopes that you’ll feel envious enough to spend as much effort and money as you can to buy what they’re selling.  And what happens next?  We start comparing ourselves to others, right? When we do this, we get jealous, angry and feel like we’re not as good as other people. This kind of thinking is messed up, and not the way the world is supposed to be!

But let’s face it. We all feel like this sometime. I know I do. The problem with envy is that it leads us feeling unhappy, empty and lonely. Like a cancer, it gets inside us, and starts to eat away at our soul. It's a sickness!  But the great thing is; we don’t have to feel this way! God wants us to know that “new stuff” is not always the things that we can see or touch. By trusting in Him, He gives us a “new” way of seeing life and the world around us! Instead of feeling envy, God can help us to feel love for others and love them because of who they are, not what they have or don’t have!

By trusting in God, he gives us a new way of life that is not based on the stuff we have or don’t have. The “new stuff” that God wants for all of us is on the inside. Let it out! He wants us to love instead of hate! He wants us to share what we have, even when we only have a little! He wants us to not be alone, but live together in families, schools, churches and all kinds of communities! God wants all of us to have “new stuff”, but most importantly, he wants us to have a “new life”! We can have “new life” through Him and by loving each other! Trust in God this school year, and make this a year of “New Stuff”!