Ash Wednesday Reflections

Today is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent. Growing up Roman Catholic, Ash Wednesday was always a big day for those observing the liturgical Church calendar. Somewhat of the Christian's "Day of Atonement", Ash Wednesday is the first day of the 46 day Lenten season, which ends on Holy Saturday, April 19, the day before Easter Sunday. Lent is a time of spiritual reflection based on the forty days of temptation that Jesus faced in the wilderness. (Matthew 4:1-11) Lent is a time of deep reflective prayer, fasting, sacrifice, spiritual self-examination and repentance, in anticipation of the day Christ sacrificed Himself in atonement for the sins of all mankind. Specifically, Ash Wednesday is a day to be reminded of our human mortality; the ashes being a sign of mourning over of the fragility of live and the sin that has birthed that condition. It calls us to repentance and begins a long 40 day journey of coming to terms with sin and committing ourselves to face it, wrestle with it and deal with it throughout the remained of the year.   

Growing up, I always perceived Ash Wednesday as the magical day when all "good " Christians somehow purged themselves of the debauchery and hedonism that has crept into their lives over the last year; especially after Mardi Gras. Mostly, I remember classes being cut short so that all good Catholic school students could attend Ash Wednesday Mass, and the subsequent embarrassment of walking around all day with "dirt" on my forehead. "Hey, church boy! You've got dirt on your head!" When I got home from school, my mom was always quick to remind me not to wash the ashes off until bedtime, but was more lenient once I started to develop acne. Those oily ashes can wreak havoc on a teenage forehead. I have always found it perplexing that some pastors have the skill of creating a perfect cross, while others only seem to manage an unidentifiable smudge.   

But as I look back on my spiritual journey, Ash Wednesday was merely a strict religious observance and nothing more. I had no idea why I was called to observe the day, and had no clue what the ashes were supposed to symbolize in terms of my faith. I was a faithful Catholic and believed in Christ, but in terms of dedication, giving up meat on Friday was about as far as I would go. Have you noticed all the fast food restaurants pushing fish on their menus lately? I wonder what McDonald's will do to rival the culinary delight of their "Fish McBites" from last year?    

So this year I'm wondering to myself if Lent is suppose to mean more than just giving up something? Is it more than marathon prayer meetings, fasting, reading scripture and other "religious" activities? Is there more to Ash Wednesday? Is there more to observing Lent? I think there is, but I think that most of us don't want to think about it, because Lent has to do with a really nasty word. OK, now I'm going whisper it so that no one else hears. Ready? "Sin". Gasp! There, I said it! I know. I know. No one likes to talk about it, right? But we're all screwed up anyway, so let's just throw it out there and get it out in the open.

When you get right down to it, Lent is about sin. It's about looking back and reflecting over the last year and coming face to face with all the crap that has infected our lives. It's about taking stock of our walk with Christ, and meditating on the areas that we have fallen short. And as we enter these 40 days together, it's a time to prepare ourselves for Easter. A time of the year that we stop and remember that our Christian faith revolves around the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, and nothing more.

Lent is not about looking more "holy" because you have ashes on your forehead. It's not about fasting so that all your friends can see how dedicated you are. It's not about piously praying several times a day so that those you work with can witness your awesome dedication to God. And I've got news for you; it's not about sacrifice. God doesn't want out lame sacrifices anyway.

When we think of Lent, we automatically think of giving up something, right? We give up sweets, coffee, smoking, technology, drinking, sex (no way!), anger, meat, cussing, etc...etc...etc. And although sacrifice is a vital aspect of the Lent experience, I think it has become a distraction from what what we are really called to as followers of Christ. We live in a culture, and are even part of a Church, that finds it politically incorrect to talk about sin. We don't like to confess sin to one another, because that makes us "bad" Christians. We don't like to hold someone accountable for sin, because that would be judgmental. And let's face it, in the post-modern church of today, sin is offensive. It's become intolerant to even mention sin for fear that others might think we're religious zealots.

Now, I am in no way advocating that we pursue campaigns of judging one another, and I'm not suggesting forms of self-righteousness. I'm not even asking us to feel bad about our faults and failures. We carry enough guilt during the rest of the year. Like I said, we're all screwed up to some extent, and those of you that know me know that I'm up there with the worst of them. I guess what I'm getting at is that maybe it's time to observe Lent for what it is: a time of repentance. Repentance is a good thing when you think about it. It's not about some angry person on the street corner screaming, "REPENT!"  It's not about doom and gloom, fire and brimstone and God's wrath on pathetic worthless sinners like you and me. Repentance, when you get right down to it, is about loving one another. When we call each other to turn from our sins and turn back to God, we are essentially communicating to them that we care about them. It's about saying to those we love, "Repent! Please! Because I love you and see what a freaking mess your life is! And my life is a mess too!  Help me! I'll help you! We're in this together!"

So, as we begin Lent on this Ash Wednesday, let's commit to the discipline of repenting. It really is an ancient discipline, when you get right down to it. Repent! And do me a favor. Challenge me to repent as well, especially when I fall short. Because I will fall short again and again. I promise. Because I'm a mess.

Lenten Reflections: Ash Wednesday - Humiliation

 
"You are dust...." - Genesis 3:19

Ashes to ashes.  Dust to dust.

As Lent begins, we're humiliated. Lent is not joyful. Lent is not a season that we greet each other with glad tidings. Lent is dark. And as Advent culminates in celebration, Lent culminates in death. Advent is intricately melded into Christmas.  Lent is broken by a week of reflection, healing and preparation for the joy that resumes at Easter.

Ashes mark our foreheads, reminding us of sin and the deteriorating nature of this world. We are dust. The world is broken. And the dust that we come from will become our humiliation when it finds us again. When our mortal bodies breath their last breath, we are humiliated one last time in dust. We are dust. We are broken.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

The ashes also remind us that the God of the universe faced humiliation as well. By becoming dust and returning to it's embrace, Jesus was dust. Jesus was humiliated. Jesus was broken. The heavenly became earthly. The immortal became mortal, if only for a brief interlude of history.

He became humiliation so that one day our dust may life forever. We will cast off the dust. We will be fixed. 

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

As we begin the Lenten Season, let us remember that our healing of humiliation comes through Christ. By His humiliation, ours was lifted. By His temporary embrace of the dust, our dust thus becomes immortal. By the donning of ashes upon our heads, let us face our humiliation with the hope of resurrection. Through Christ, our ashes become beautiful. Through Christ, the broken is repaired. Through Christ, our humiliation becomes joy.

Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

Advent to Lent.

Birth and Death.

Beginning. Ending. Rising.  

Lord, as we begin this Lenten Season, humiliated by the ashes we receive, enable us to reflect on the sin that we so often try to avoid. Help us to remember that although we are dust, broken and mortal, we will one day rise with You, perfect and immortal. 

Amen.  


 

Repentance

I don't know about you, but as I grow older, I'm confronted with the continuing realization that I am an imperfect man, and I'm OK with that.  With the clarity of this realization comes the overwhelming reality that I am in fact being converted daily and reconciled to Christ on a regular basis.  As I grow spiritually, I realize that repentance is a daily discipline that requires a conscious effort.  By remaining close to Christ and through His Spirit, I see that we are all naturally convicted of sin, whether we like it or not.  As we regularly reflect and examine our inner selves and consequent outward actions, we grow closer to the image of Christ and that conviction becomes more frequent and natural.  You might say that it feeds on itself and this requires daily reflection, which is something that I've committed to daily.  As I ask God to search me thoroughly, and reveal any sin or imperfection, I begin to see things that ordinarily may seem obscure or even absent in my life.  And as I become reconciled to Christ, I also become convicted to be reconciled to others well; both those who have wronged me and those that I have wronged through my actions and sin.  In fact, repentance and reconciliation go hand in hand.  When we base our lives and decisions on loving God with all our hearts, and loving our neighbor as ourselves, we naturally long to be reconciled with all those around us.

  

In it's very essence, repentance does not carry the burdensome weight that is sometimes associated with the act, but rather represents somewhat of an inner release of love.  Repentance entails a loving discipline and commitment to a God that we long to please because of His love for us, and the love we long to return to Him.  When reflecting deeper on this principle and what it means for me personally in my spiritual life, I don't see repentance as rigorous, religious or forced upon believers.  Rather, I see it as a discipline much like prayer, worship, silence, meditation or the study of Scripture.  Is it possible that “discipline” is too strong a word, but instead, would a term such as “devotion” or “commitment” be more appropriate?  As we find ourselves devoted to God, we naturally and organically long to please Him and walk the path that He has carved out for our lives.  In acknowledging our sin and His sacrifice through His Son Jesus Christ, we find ourselves committed to live a life worthy of His sacrifice.  Of course, this is impossible in terms of reaching perfection, but I believe that this is where the “daily conversion” principle clearly comes into play in our lives.

I think of Philippians 2:12-13 and how it illustrates this principle so clearly.  “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”  We see that this is a “continuing” process for us that requires “work”, but not in the grueling sense, but going back to the idea of “discipline”.  The aspect of “fear and trembling” connects well with the above comment regarding devotion and commitment.  Because of what God has done for us, and His perfection in light of our imperfection, we are utterly in awe.  And as we remain devoted to Him, He works “in” and “through” us, to complete the conversion process.  We grow as we abide in Him (See John 15)

One might find themselves pondering if there a tension between God working in and through us to create daily conversion, and what we do in commitment to Him.  I can understand this reaction, but I don’t think that such a conflict exists.  I think this very much parallels the “faith vs. works” concept between Paul and James.  While the two might seem to be at odds withe one another, there really is no conflict because the two work hand in hand.  One could say that it is through our devotion to God that He blesses us with supernatural transformation, and as we see this being produced in and through us, we become that much more dedicated to Him for more.  Show me your devotion to God, and I will show you my devotion to God by what He is doing through me.  (See James 2:18)

I  have never had much of a problem with the concept of repentance because of my rather pessimistic attitude throughout my life.  Growing up in the Roman Catholic Church only added to this trap that I sometimes still find myself caught within.  If allowed to my own devices, I can have a rather dark outlook on life and how my sin adds to that darkness.  I often become quite angry with myself because of sin and can be rather self-deprecating.  After a period of giving in to a repetitious sin, I will go through a few days of “paying God back” for the damages done.  But I realize that my acts of penance are wasteful and it is my heart that God longs for.  He wants my devotion and commitment, not my religious acts of abuse.

Ultimately, repentance begins with God and not with ourselves, and this is the only way that we can continue a process of continuing conversion on a daily basis.  By forgetting our faults, looking to forgiveness and repentance; we look to God for His grace and mercy to renew our minds and move us forward.  We must refuse the proverbial beating ourselves and acknowledge our forgiveness.  This is not an easy task, is it?  But the love of God softens our hearts and moves us to deeper devotion to Him.  Then the cycle begins as He works through us to convert us into His image; day in and day out we are changed.  As we are changed, we are humbled and realize that it is not ourselves, but God working in us.   

                   

When I see myself from the outside looking in, I see myself as being converted by two factors:  First, I begin to see substantial and consistent changes in my life to being more like Christ.  Consistency is the essential aspect in real repentance.  If I am no different than I was 1 year ago, where is the transformation?  Where is the conversion?  If I am no different than I was yesterday, how did I spend my day that hindered that?  How can I be better today?  Tomorrow?  As I search myself, what aspects are being sifted out and thrown away?  I often think of sand being sifted.  As it is sifted through, sticks, rocks and dirt are filtered out.  What you have left is pure and white sand.  Are we no different when we search ourselves, or ask God to search us, for that matter?  

The second factor is peace.  When I have a sense of peace about myself and my daily walk, I know that God is converting me.  As I abide in Him, I find a peace that confirms that He is working in me.  If I am out of His will and abiding in sin rather, I feel anxiety, instability and frustration.  I firmly believe that peace is a natural indicator that God has given us to be able to monitor our conversion.   I think we need to trust in peace much more than we do, but our culture makes that a difficult process.  By media, marketing, the work place, etc., we are subconsciously being taught that if we reach a point of peace, or contentment rather, we are being lazy and that there is something we "should" be doing.  Idleness should not be confused with peace.

In the big picture, repentance is not about someone banging on a pulpit and screaming, "Repent!"  It's not about feeling guilty about sin.  It's not about beating yourself up because of sin, or paying for sin as if a fine is required.  But rather, repentance is about a loving call to each follower of Christ to be transformed.  It's  an offer of something better.  An alternative that doesn't even compare to what was before.  And as we realize God's overwhelming love for us, we feel His love.  It consumes us and we can think of nothing more than to return love to Him.